A client recently claimed he didn’t know who he was. I tried to console him by saying, “Who you are…is beyond words.” He already had such a bad opinion of himself and now I was confirming it, “You’re beyond words.” Luckily he chuckled as he realized I was saying that he was more than mere words or concepts. “A picture is worth a thousand words”; yet he was more than a thousand words. No matter how he viewed himself, whether with confusion or condemnation, his views were merely illusions because he was beyond any of these views. He might as well create illusions that make him feel good if he is going to have any illusions at all. Affirmations are “illusions” that create practical and positive consequences.
To affirm means “to assert positively” and affirmations are the act of affirming. To assert positively, you have to learn how to be positive. The universal positive statement about any experience is “I can learn from this experience.” No matter how negative your life might be, if you pursue learning something from it, you will do so. Sometimes the lesson is not readily perceptible. Then affirm “I can learn to do something different the next time to avoid this situation from happening again” or “I can learn to use better judgment in making my decisions.”
When you use affirmations, people tend to strive for more, but don’t go for more than you can handle. To say, “My life is full of ecstasy and bliss in every waking moment”, when your best friend has just died, won’t exactly be apropos. You want to tailor the affirmation to your particular need. Instead, you might say, “I can experience a greater level of ecstasy and bliss even though I may be grieving the loss of my loved one as he would want me to feel this way.” You want to fulfill your dream, but you don’t want to blast off too far from reality. Find a plausible compromise to phrase your affirmation.
You must have faith that affirmations do work. You could just be a believer and this would work, but for those of us who are skeptical, we need a way to understand the creative process. Try, “Whatever I want will be manifested by the divine” or “God will give me what I truly declare I want as long as I’m not selfish.”
Your affirmation needs to develop a certain level of momentum. When you hit “critical mass”, i.e. when you have put enough time and energy into your affirmation, you will get a response from the Universe or God. Your affirmation will come true in the way that it can. It may not be exactly as you asked for, but have faith that something will occur. This is how prayer works. You ask for something from God and you get whatever He feels is right at the time. I believe this is related to how much effort you have put in: “God helps those who help themselves.”
While watching God in action and looking at your investment and your return, you have to make decisions about whether to continue or whether to modify your affirmation. You could be using a faulty affirmation that you won’t produce your desired result. With more experience you will develop better judgment about when the affirmation is working for you or not. Change it if it is not working. A quick check is to notice your emotional feelings when you say the affirmation. If you get too much of a negative response, modify it until it feels better. Use affirmations that especially produce strong, positive, emotional enthusiasm.
I love to use affirmations that say, “I can…” This affirms the potential for having what you want. “I can have what I want.” “I can do what is necessary to get what I want.” “I can get the support I need to get what I want.” “I get what I deserve and I can tolerate what I get.”
Consider using “now” or “I am now…” in your affirmations. It powerfully puts you where you want, but it might be too much for a beginner. Saying “I am willing for… (whatever you want to happen)” is a more comfortable start for most. You can also put it on the level of “I choose…” or “I am doing more of…” to mobilize your choice and action, which later leads to your desired result.
While you are affirming, be appreciative that you can affirm. This is the wonder of life. We have the power and using it is the challenge. Appreciation is one positive first step you can always take to affirm.