The renown Gestalt therapist Fritz Perls claims neurosis is a difficulty in grasping the obvious. The psychologist-turned-guru Ram Dass, the former Richard Alpert, made famous the message “Be here now.” This suggests that what is important in life is right in front your nose.
Applying this idea, I devised a technique called the “Sweet Three Feet”. When a client comes in disturbed about something, I often ask him to notice the space three feet around him. If he does not see a locomotive or a grizzly bear coming his way, then I suggest he really has nothing to worry about, and everything is okay for right now. True, he may have real things to worry about, but if those things are not impinging on him right then, he still has some time to work on handling them. Why not be afraid or upset when the situation truly warrants it instead of in the anticipation? While the threat nears, enjoy life or do what you can calmly to handle the anticipated stress. How many times have you worried about something only to find out later that it worked out anyway despite all your worry? Even if it didn’t work out, extra worry does not usually help a situation.
The way to get benefit out of your Sweet Three Feet is to remember to use it. Just look three feet around you and see the reality that is there. It doesn’t matter what you are going through. What really hurts the most is not the actual problem, but the pain, hurt or anxiety associated with the problem. These feelings come from within you and if you master who you are, then you are better able to deal with those feelings.
This is what meditation is all about. When you sit alone and look within, you tune into your Sweet Three Feet. Many of us are so busy with life that we miss what is obvious. Being with your Sweet Three Feet can then be an incredible task. What can be even more incredible is creating miracles within your Sweet Three Feet. Remember the “I am” principle, and your attributes: love, creativity, self-esteem, peace. You can learn to use your Sweet Three Feet to cultivate all of these qualities.
Remember you also have choice within your Sweet Three Feet. Your ability to make beneficial decisions in your life is a powerful tool. Your body is also within your Sweet Three Feet. Caring for your body with the proper food and exercise is part of attending to your Sweet Three Feet.
A paranoid client of mine thinks others think badly of her and draws her conclusions from what is implied in their speech or by a certain look they give her. However, no concrete proof is actually available to support her suspicions. Her observations are based largely on her assumptions about the world and their projection onto others– a source of great misperception. If she could grasp more of what is going on in front of her, she would realize that what we see is exactly what we get. A word is a word spoken; it may or may not be true for sure. A look is just a look given; who can say what is behind it for sure?
Nurturing your Sweet Three Feet is indeed sweet because of all the goodness possible within your grasp. Let’s all taste that sweetness within our three feet and spread it beyond to the rest of the world.