This article reminds me of a previous article “On Having No Head’ because it deals with something so obvious, yet so profound. It has taken me more than 30 years to be comfortable about talking to myself. Of course, some of my clients do it regularly and yet we might call them “whacked”.
When I talk to myself, I don’t do it out loud. I usually do it silently to myself. It is not the same as that ongoing, mindless chatter that you usually hear. That chatter speaks with habitual messages, but is not what I mean by talking to yourself. Those of us who are lucky have positive tapes running in our heads; those less fortunate have to suffer the throes of negative assault. These tapes, good or bad, are the end product of years of conditioning brought on by our parents, our teachers, television, and other external input. They do not constitute talking to ourselves.
You do already talk to yourself in some way. I did for many years, but I was not very conscious of it. Being more conscious and deliberate with my inner talking does so much more to propel me beyond my limits as a person.
Talking to oneself takes effort. Unlike the usual inner chatter, a meaningful conversation involves concentration especially if you have something important to say to yourself. You must know what you want to say and what effect you want to have on yourself. Unless you are out to simply entertain yourself, and that is fine also, you often gain nothing from idle banter with yourself.
Talking to yourself gives yourself love and self-esteem. You show yourself that you deserve that special attention and precious conversation. Whatever you give time to will grow and blossom. Why not give it to yourself? To truly give to yourself, you need to become a friend to yourself. To become a friend, you must know yourself and give yourself the best advice possible.
Neither you nor I can imagine the infinite power of our deliberate inner voice. When we are picking the voice we want to broadcast in our mind, we could pick the voice that successful people use. Another good voice is that of your spirit guide. A spirit guide may sound a bit farfetched, but is something you strive for from the core of your being. Have that part of you talk to you and give you the kind of guidance that fulfills you.
In order to truly benefit from the power of your own inner voice, you must be absolutely certain about the only thing that you can be certain about – the lack of an absolute truth. I had a client recently give all the reasons he should feel bad about himself. Yes, he was accurate about these reasons to feel bad, but he still didn’t have to make feeling bad be the truth. Remember you can say anything you want to yourself. You don’t have to believe it. Some of you who remember the Empty Vessel Process recall the conclusion drawn that there is no truth except what you make of it and how it impacts on your life. Whatever you say to yourself should be something you want to believe; no matter that you don’t believe it just then. Only you can rid yourself of dysfunctional beliefs and substitute these maladaptive notions for ones which give you inspiration and empowerment. Get rid of those destructive tapes in your mind and replace them with comforting and motivating talks.
Some of us are great at talking to others. We console others; we say just the right thing to make them happy. However, when it comes to ourselves, somehow we think we can’t do it. It is not that it is outside our power; it really is that we don’t choose to do so. You know that you could read the words you need to speak to yourself even if you can’t just say the words.
Some of us talk to others so much because we are too nervous to face ourselves. When you talk to someone else, you can’t easily be in touch with your own inner feelings. When you talk to yourself, you can’t help but notice your feelings because the feelings will always get in the way of your being able to say something.
You can talk to yourself every moment of the day. Why not give yourself the tremendous potential that lies between your two ears?