What is paradox? A comic might say, “a couple of M.D.’s”. It is fascinating and awesome to me that life is so paradoxical. When I was twelve and my grandmother passed away, I felt so confused that we were given life only to die someday. Paradox is integral to life and is another aspect of the Natural Success principle of balance.
I haven’t seen “The Last Temptation of Christ”, but the way people are so adamantly opposed to it makes me want to see it. It is paradoxical and understandable that all the fuss about the film actually creates more publicity and interest to see it. The opponents almost seem to help support the proponents.
Nothing is ever only good or bad. You might really love your wife, but sometimes she does irk you. Money can be wonderful, but families can fight over it greedily. Sex has always been worshipped, but not so much so in the age of AIDS. The paradox then is that things are always a little bit of their opposite.
Whenever you like something, count on something about it that you will dislike. It does not mean you should now dislike it; it only means that all things have imperfection.
We would like to think that something is perfect because that satisfies us. This works best if we can accept the paradox that any imperfection is really perfect for the time being. Take my client who tries so hard to be a perfect person. What he has set up is big disappointment because he cannot live up to his ideals. He wants to be perfect, but all that he wants is presently outside his grasp. The only way he can be perfect now is to consider his hang-ups as perfect for his present phase of personal growth; he can still strive for improvement within this perfection. If he could do better and be better, he certainly would, wouldn’t he? Accepting this kind of imperfect perfection is tough because our rational thinking is so geared to think that things must be only one way or the other. We need to think “both/and” instead of “either/or”. We are “both” perfect “and” imperfect at the same time and this total combination is Perfect. We run into trouble if we think we have to be either “perfect” or “imperfect” exclusively.
When you try too hard for something, you set up losing it. If you studied for an exam 24 hours straight, you would quickly burn out and be ill-prepared, physically and mentally, for the actual exam the next morning. On the other hand, if you didn’t study enough, you would not likely pass the exam. Here again is the paradoxical balance; you need some effort and some detachment to reach an optimal result.
The paradox weaves throughout the fabric of life. Whatever crises we go through in life are truly opportunities for growth. Of course, they don’t feel like them at the time, but hindsight reveals valuable lessons. The more we acknowledge this apparent contradiction, the more easily we gain precious insights.
Life is simple and complex. Too much simplicity can be boring and too much complexity can be dangerous. If we approach life simply, little needs to be said. We need just have enough complexity to start a discussion and to write an article for the Windward Oahu News.