I remember a cartoon many years ago of two babies peeking into their diapers and saying, “There is a difference.” Would you also be surprised to know that men and women are really different? As many of us look at the world from our own eyes, sometimes realizing the difference is difficult. We too often assume the rest of the world, including the other sex, operates from our same perspective. We wonder how the opposite sex could operate any differently. Once we accept the differences, we need to act accordingly.
John Gray, Ph.D., clearly laid bare these differences in a recent seminar he presented. He has written the best-selling book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and the title of the seminar was “Men, Women, and Relationship”. As Dr. Gray contends, men tend to be more focused and women more expansive. Men are more concerned about goals and getting results in the world. Women extend beyond themselves to make relationships their main concern. Women want to be cared for, respected, and understood; men want acceptance, appreciation and trust.
When faced with trouble, women want to express their feelings and be heard without any need for an immediate plan of action. Men, on the other hand want to problem solve and plan action steps. You can see why it doesn’t work when all the girl wants is to have someone listen and the guy wants to take some action and asks, “What are you getting upset about?”
A woman tends to expect her man to know what she wants especially if they are in love. Women must realize that men are not mind-readers. Women need to let their man know what they want specifically and to express this without resentment.
Criticism is one of the worst things for a man. When a woman is unhappy, this reflects badly on the man and his level of accomplishment to make his lady happy. For a man to feel his best, he needs to feel accepted; then he can change and give his gal what she wants.
Men tend to like to be “right”; women are more concerned about being “good”. Problems arise when the man appears to make the woman wrong or when the woman makes the man look bad.
All of these generalizations about men and women are a good rule of thumb, but people are still individuals and need to be treated as such. Some women are more like men and visa versa. These stereotypes about men and women show the spectrum of variation between the genders.
Remember to honor and support your partner according to his or her own unique needs. Do this and they will likely honor and support you in return.