My father always told me that experience counts, but when I was young I never thought my intellectual powers would ever need experience to deal with life. His words recently rang true when I worked with the wards at the Hawaii Youth Correctional Facility. Intellectually I realized that people have fixed ways of living, but I never experienced it so strikingly as with the wards. They told me that they had never heard of an Hawaiian millionaire. Even if one were to exist, they claimed, Hawaiian millionaires are rare and, of course, not one of them could ever possibly become one. They had no concept of anything greater than how they viewed the world and despite my attempts to prove otherwise, they persisted in their fixed belief. They did not have the experience of anything beyond their realm of existence and assumed that nothing more was possible. Even when the chance for that experience was made available, they resisted it.
When we think we know it all, we die. Life becomes humdrum and mundane. It is hard to aspire for something greater because we think we have it all laid out and nothing more exists. Worse is that we set ourselves up for disappointment. The nature of life is a continual testing of and exposure to more realities. If you are unwilling to allow for that in your life, then you are going to be uncomfortably perturbed. Plan on them, however, and you could be fascinated at the next bend in the road and what it may unfold.
You know you don’t know it all, but you forget. You thought you figured out how to live life and then something happens to remind you otherwise. I had a patient who had his life planned: the right job, a condo, and his dream girl. All he had to do was kick back, he thought. Then he had an industrial accident where he was electrocuted and his life has not been the same since. He keeps looking for what he had before, something that would be the same no matter what, and I keep trying to tell him it is all an illusion — an illusion that causes suffering.
When you stop being a know-it-all, you begin to value the viewpoints of others. Each of us lives in our own realm of our experiences and beliefs. Surely we would be different people if we had undergone the experiences of our fellow men.
Being a know-it-all plants the seeds for a lesson in humility because sooner or later a great fall is forthcoming. Rather than be the omniscient one around whom the world revolves, why not assess what you do know, be confident of it, and realize it’s not all?
When will we know it all? I’m glad I never will. The excitement is nevertheless to strive to know it all anyway. Life is learning more and more what you don’t know and enjoying the mystery. Have respect for another’s idea. See them for who they are, and you will love them and love life.